Monday, January 13, 2020

6 Revised Paragraphs

1.

I ventured into the backwoods and there was powdery snow covering the ground. The wind whipped around like crazy and made the outdoors piercing cold. My favorite sweater, the one with the fox, kept me warm and cozy. I thought I saw a fox dash through the treeline but it must have been my imagination, I was still happy to explore this white world.


2.

The cold wind went around like crazy. I walked on the trail in the backwoods with my favorite sweater on. The sweater was warm and the fabric felt good. It was my favorite because of the red fox design on it. Snow was falling on the trail. I imagined a fox running on the snow but there was really nothing. However, the imagination of the fox made me happy to be there.


3. 

The freezing cold wind blew like crazy as if it were an active hurricane. I had my favorite red fox sweater on, keeping me warm from the freezing wind. I struggled to walk through the snowy trail in the backwoods. I was still happy because I thought I saw a real fox, but in reality there was nothing there.


4.


The wind howled as it blew cool wind through the branches of the tree. The warm wool engulfed my body, protecting it from the piercing air,and the woven fox lay upon my sweater. The white snow crunched beneath my feet as I traveled deeper into the woods. I looked around and my gaze stopped at a figure, sat in the snow. It stood out from the white world with its bright orange fur. It was a fox. When I blinked, the fox was gone. Standing there, alone in the vast forest, I smiled. Even though the fox wasn’t real, its presence still floated through my mind and brightened the world around me. 


5.

It was freezing cold outside and the wind was blasting around like crazy. My sweater felt so warm and cozy against my skin. The sweater I was wearing was definitely my favorite because it was the really cute blue one that had the fox on it. I walked through the trail in the backwoods of my home and there were tons of snow everywhere. It was so beautiful and looked like a winter wonderland. I closed my eyes and when I reopened them I saw a real fox running through the woods. Then the fox was gone which made me realize that I had only imagined it. Discovering this whole other world behind my own house made this one of the best days I have ever had.

6.

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew in my direction, making me feel like my body was pierced with a thousand tiny sharp needles. The soft cozy sweater with a small red fox on it kept me warm during this freezing nightmare. The trail to the backwoods was covered in white powder, making it look like a delightful fried dough. The wind gave me illusions of a red, furry monster, but the steaming hot chocolate made all problems disperse.

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